Thank you for the words of support, days 2 and 3 have gone without a hitch so far, teenager seems happy, (she should be as we are staying where she wanted and doing the things she wanted! Despite her saying she doesn’t have a voice and isn’t heard!) also no melt downs for the younger SD yet who is autistic, so I’m starting to relax a bit! And my son is having fun xx

Thank you, first day of travelling up was fine with no issues. We also went to the theatre on Tuesday evening and SD seemed happy and chatting away to me. I think I’m being used as a scapegoat anytime she is upset about anything and wants to get at me or her dad. It’s such an emotional rollercoaster. Plan for this week is to try to relax, not get involved in any conflict and not be bothered by SD’s if they are grumpy or bored. Will try try to have fun with my son

Hi, I have a similar situation and it’s so hard. I’ve got a 9 year old son, and step daughters who are 11 and 15. I felt like I started to bond with three older one before teenage hormones hit and now I don’t have much of a relationship with her and the younger one is autism and struggles to bond with anyone. I know this is t my fault but it’s difficult not to feel down about it, I’m sad that we have bonded, feel frustrated that as they don’t respect me, and spend most of their time in their rooms when at our house so I don’t have the opportunity to get closer to them. My partner demonstrates a bit of the Disney dad as he’s desperate to spend more time with them and is scared they won’t ant to come any more. They are very close to mum and have refused to come over before 😕

Thank you so much! Unfortunately mine struggles at school (also has dyslexia) and finds it very difficult to bond and express emotions so it feels like she is very rude and ungrateful but I know it’s not her fault. She’s being getting additional support at junior school but starting high school in sept which I think is going to be very difficult. she’s getting assessed through Bupa now so that might help with diagnosis and support but she has all the classic signs. My partner is struggling to accept it but I’ve always thought she was autistic since I met her 5 years ago and have been doing lots of research to help with my approach and to remind me that our lack of relationship is not my fault! Even bio mum has said I am unlikely to ever have a bond with her 😕 mine of the things we find difficult is when we have days out and finding someone to eat if we don’t take a picnic, she needs to know exactly what the plan is for the day, is a very fussy eater and can’t make decisions, we try to give her the time to decide but it’s hard when places are busy and it’s harder for her then when its busy and noisy!

My SD’s went crying to bio mum who came over for a meeting with us to say they weren’t happy at house, one reason was wanting to spend more time with their dad but they spend all their time in their room and couldn’t give any examples of what they want to do with us, most of my suggestions are rejected. I was so upset that they are unhappy when I’ve tried so hard to build a relationship with them. They are also very jealous of my son, they think we put him first and that they don’t have a voice, but again couldnt give any examples. My counsellor says it’s a cry for help and not about me but hard bot to think so. Bio mum made out she wanted to help but then turned against me. I feel she is pandering to the kids and using us as scapegoats to blame for their many problems and unhappiness 😔

Definitely feel rejection - unfortunately I didn’t get much time with SD before the teenage hormones did, now my efforts to build a relationship and do nice things for her go unnoticed or are criticised. Think teenagers are inherently selfish. Maybe one day they will recognise what we did for then and how hard being a step mum is!