I always wanted a big family and from as early as I can remember I wanted to be a Mum.
Being a stepmum was never something which had crossed my mind… and if it had then I probably would have swiftly decided it wasn’t for me.
I'm a bit of a perfectionist and having a family which is "half your own" and "half someone else's" woudn't have been on my childhood wish list.
But nine years ago (with a three year old son in tow from my first marriage) I met HIM!
I knew after a couple of dates that this was IT. That heart thumping, butterflies fluttering, nothing-will-ever-be-the-same-again kind of love that I thought only came in movies (Man that sounds cheesy but it is how it felt.)
The fact he had two young daughters was an added bonus in my eyes. I’ve always loved kids and I was excited about building a friendship with them. I knew it would be bumpy and there would be ups and downs but looking back I was spectacularly naïve about some of the issues that might come up!
In the beginning it was an absolute rollercoaster. Incredible highs and painful lows.
It wasn’t long before I was full of "stepmum anxiety"… “smanxiety” as I called it.
I felt lost, lonely and had no support. I felt completely out of control of my own life and powerless to create the happy, fun loving home I’d always wanted for my family.
Turns out I’m not the only one who feels like this. Every stepmum I met had been through some level of trauma and almost all reported significant levels of anxiety and depression.
I wanted to do something.
So here it is. A space, for us. A place where we can come together for courage, communication and connection.
I hope you get something from this and I’d love to hear what you think,
To give Stepmums a voice, To change the cultural narrative around Stepmums, to offer REAL support for Stepmums and to empower Stepmums to write their own step-story, by creating spaces for Stepmums to speak up & be heard.
Being a stepmum is the last taboo in parenting. Stepfamilies are the fastest growing family structure but are rarely represented in popular culture. And when Stepmums are represented, you'll either tend to see them being wicked, or being a martyr who sweeps in to rescue the family when the "real" Mum has died. Neither of which are helpful representations!
At Stepmum Space we want this to change. Passionately. Society is finally realising the value of supporting "real" mums, but somewhere along the way Stepmums have been forgotten. It's ok for Mums to have 'off' days, to admit they're struggling and to share their difficult emotions. But it's not that way for Stepmums...
So we've made it our mission to change that. We want a better deal for Stepmums. We are committed to creating spaces on and offline for stepmums to speak up and be heard with empathy and support, rather than judgement.
We care deeply about the success of Stepfamilies and we want to empower Stepmums to write their own story and not be forced to live by someone else's script.
If you're a Stepmum, WE SEE YOU!! We get how hard it is and we think you're amazing! X
And if you're reading this because you want to support someone you know who's a Stepmum then hats off to you, the world needs more people like you!
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