@Swordfish RuPaul said best! 🤣 He is a very mature grown almost 10. He is highly intellIgent and validates me all the time. I do take that to heart and love him even more for it. I can’t control her that much is for sure. I just wish I could make her understand I am just trying to be the best possible step mom and that I didn’t ask for this. I just fell in love with a man that has a child that isn’t mine and I just want to find my place in it all. Thank you so much for all your kind words and encouragement. It has really warmed my heart. Sending you all the love and warm hugs! Xx

@BambiBeth Oh babes, my heart hurt reading your post, I wanted to hug you and tell you everything will be ok. Court orders don’t seem to benefit the ones that actually do what they are supposed to and follow it at least in my experience which is unfortunate. I am so sorry for your loss. That does not make the situation any better. I have experienced my own losses and I hate that for you. As far as can us step moms do anything right?-yes, yes we can! Don’t let bio mom lessen the love you give your SD because she can’t handle someone else loving and being a mother to her daughter. That’s her burden and unfair to put on you.

The things that some bio moms say to step moms are harsh. I went looking for support in groups and seeing women and other mothers tearing each other down was awful and then seeing what some step moms said about their step children would bring me to tears. I really do hope this community grow and be a place for step mothers to come and get actual good helpful support. Xx

@Swordfish hearing you say that it must be difficult for me, gives me validation that I need. My husband tries to understand and sympathizes with me but he has his own rights has a parent. I am very envious that you had a good relationship with the bio mom before. I wish this was the case and I did try and the expense of myself but everyone around me could see it was hurting me. I don’t know why she resents me and maybe I can’t because I don’t have children of my own but I don’t understand belittling and resenting someone who is just trying to love a child that is in their life too. I stand up for her when my SS comes to me about things that happen in her home even though I may not agree. I do not speak negatively of her to him but she does not show me the same respect. My SS tells me she doesn’t like me. I always tell him she doesn’t need to like me for him to love me and for me to love him. As far as exchanges most happen in through school. I drop him off at school and then he goes to his mom. Unfortunately due to the court order when he is not in school I do have to handle exchanges but she doesn’t talk to me. She will just text my husband hurtful things about me being involved. Which my husband tells her she doesn’t have the right to say.

@SarahP Thank you!! Everyone has a lot to deal with in life and I really try to look on the brightside. The bright side I try to focus on when it comes to step parenting is that my step son loves me and that has got to count for something.

@Swordfish I have been married for 4 years. Which in the grand picture isn’t a very long time but in that time I have experienced a lot as a step parent. We went through a custody battle to get more time with my SS. We do share custody. We have him more than what you would expect a dad to have here. I am the one that takes him to school, I do the homework with him, I do the exchanges and I fight to give him everything I didn’t have growing up, please don’t take this as my husband doesn’t do anything bc he is the best dad he just works a lot to provide for his family and he does a wonderful job at it. BM is very hard to deal with. I tried to be her friend but that did work at all. She was at my wedding where she completely embarrassed me and I didn’t even know about it till after my wedding and from people who didn’t know who she was. Even after that I tried to put my SS first and be communicative and friendly but it always just ended up hurting me. My husband sat me down one day and told me hurting myself to try to make co-parenting easier wasn’t fair to me and I needed to step back from her before I started to resent him and my SS and it was so true. My step son always tells me he loves me and that I am a great step mom So I got to be doing something right.