Anyone out there?😂

Hi

I am 34, and I have been a step mum since I was 30 - so for the last four years. My step children are now ages 9,14 and 16. There is a 12 year age gap between me and my partner which has its challenges and unfortunately he is unable to have any more children. I have find this somewhat extremely difficult being a step mum to his three children and knowing I will be unable to have biological children myself. I deal with this by not telling anyone of my situation and changing the situation if someone asks if I want my own kids. I find the conversation too difficult.

I have found myself moving 20 miles away (not to far) away from my home town where I have all my family and friends and living in an unfamiliar town in what was his and ex wifes forever home. It can be very isolating at times. My friends in the last couple of years have all started having children and I somewhat feel left out of their 'mums club' and none of my friends have step children and therefore have a lack of understanding and empathy towards my situation. They all support each other and tell each other what good job they are doing and I feel like step mums don't always get the recognition we deserve.

We have equal custody of the children on a week on and week of basis and the ex can be somewhat difficult.

I wouldn't change my situation as I love my partner and my step children to bits however it does feel good to write this down and share with other step mums xx

Hi all,

what a relief to find this group.

I have just been watching Good Morning Britain and heard step mums suffer more anxiety and depression than biological mothers. This was actually nice to hear. I am 32 and step mum to a now 18yr old and 16 year old both girls, I have no biological children so this was a rapid learning experience. They have been in my life for 3 years and Jake and I are getting married later this year. After having a step mum myself at this age i am hyper sensative to what I can are can’t say knowing well that If I tell them off inappropriately I will never be forgiven 🤣 where as a biological mother can (and she does) what she likes. generally they are good well behaved young adults but my god when those hormones get going I thank god my partner has the patience I don’t. We have a great relationship and family life but it hasn’t been without some very high but very low points for me and my partner just doesn’t understand at all that despite trying and all of my friends are starting there own families with their own biological babies. sometimes I feel like I’m being unreasonable about my feelings as I have zero people close to me in the same situation sooooo huge sorry for this long message but I’m very happy to see you all 😂

Kirstie

Hi there!

I'm 35 now and 3 years ago my own son was 4 and I became a stepmom of 3 (then 5yo boy, 11yo boy, 14yo girl). At the time both me and my partner had 50/50 custody. After a few months of dating, the mother of his children ended her life. Since then I'm a full-time stepmom and part time mom... It's so hard to have my step kids around ALL the time and only seeing my bio son half of the time. I struggle a lot, lots of crying, disengaging, frustration, ... It's a lot to handle but at the same time there's so much love ❤️ My partner really makes it all worth it. I feel like I can talk to him about anything without shame and he really listens. I don't know if it will get easier, but reading all your comments, I'm glad I'm not the only one 🤗

Hello I'm Lauren, 30 and could write several novels on life as a step mum 🥴

Step mum to 14 year old and 8 year old girls for 7 years and just had a newborn baby.

Also happy to connect to anyone in a similar boat :)

Lauren

31 and mum to (almost) 3, stepmum to 4, ages between 4-15.

There are some of us who walked in to the crazy life young 😂

Nietta @stepmumsocialclub