I’m looking to sense check the way that things in work in other shared care situations to see if I’m being a bit judgemental of my stepson’s birth mum.
My husband and I do have the majority shared care of my stepson, he goes to his mum every other weekend (Fri to Mon), every other Weds, and for half the holidays.
For as long as I can remember (nearly 4 years) my husband has always packed a set of spare uniform, underwear and football kit/boots for my stepson to take to his mum’s. He has no spare uniform or PE kit there, no coat or rain jacket, no spare shoes (or trainers, wellies, flip flops), hat, gloves, swimming gear etc. at his mum’s.
If he stayed there less I’d understand this more, but he goes to school from his mum’s many days per month, and to not have his own coat or other warm weather or other clothing there I find really odd. She also takes him to football matches the same amount of times we do - twice per month - yet doesn’t have extra kit there.
It means my stepson frequently has a very heavy, full bag on his back to transport multiple sets of clothing and kit around.
Is this usual? What’s it like in other 35:65ish shared care scenarios out there?