I've been with my husband for 8 years SD is now 12 nearly 13.
From the beginning I took a very mum role in our house did a lot for SD it started taking its toll on my mental health with feeling extremely unappreciated by dad and SD that I would dread our time with SD. So this year I decided to take a step back and let dad take control again and be the parent, I mean at the end of the day he is. And it has been amazing for all of us.
BM has always been HC, we've been through phases of her being ok with me to not being ok with me etc so this year I cut all contact with BM it was to much stress for me, I didn't want it.
BM has always made it hard for SD to enjoy her time with us. Constant messages to SD saying how she misses her and it's not the same without her at her house etc etc. Once SD was excited to come to us and BM said 'why don't you just live with your dad if you're that excited' so it's always been super hard for her.
Now me and SD get on really well we like the same things, there's only 15 years between us which I don't think is alot, I still feel like a kid most of the time. We have great banter now she is nearly 13. Taking the piss out of eachother.
Last week she took something I'd said in banter and twisted it and told BM and Nanny that's I'd been and called her a 'stinky bi*ch' in and nasty way when it wasn't like that at all and she knows it and gives me banter like that all the time. Now she hates me and doesn't want to come and see me and her dad anymore.
I honestly have no idea how to feel. I feel like her mums constant badgering her not to enjoy our time together has finally got to her.