Im looking for information from other people in my situation to try and guard myself better as well as do everything I can to make things the best they can possibly be for my Stepsons.
Does anyone else have a structure of…
2 Days…2 days…2 days…3 days…2 days…3 days…repeat
My SS have done this since they were 3 and 4 now, 13 and 14.
we now have a 4 year old daughter and there are no siblings in their mum and step dads house. Post covid and as they are getting older I am finding the transition night harder and harder, they seem to resent us and their sister…we have a lot of push back and alien feeling, next night we are ok, then they go. They have had always had lots of contact with their mum when at ours (phone call morning and night plus texts) now that seems to be even more, plus their step dad upping contact, both talking to them at night and texting. There are lots of imbalances and I love them and I know they love me but I feel like I’m working sooooo hard for our relationship and to keep us bonded, it seems to be harder and I think that we should talk to them about a different time structure. We all used to get on very well for years and years but arguments have been bubbling up and all the parents have stopped talking (I’ve tried and tried to get communication back going but everyone else seems happy with the lack of contact between the parents) I know things good be better, we all love them so much. I just dont know how to engine change or even if change is what needed. Does anyone else suffer with feeling anxious and rejected??
That is a lot of back and forth for two teens who are increasingly having their own lives - would week on/week off (7/7) provide more consistency and structure?